How can you criticize your child for not being exceptional?
Children make mistakes, parents have the responsibility to criticize and discipline, but what kind of criticism can be effective without harming the child?
Psychologists tell us that understanding your child’s tolerance and choosing the right method of criticism between criticism and compliance will help parents find a balance.
It’s time to eat. The four-year-old son refused to put the toy. He didn’t respond after calling it several times. Qinglin decided to order something hard.
The son cried and refused to put toys, struggling to knock out his mother’s head with a big bag.
Qinglin was so angry, she said angrily to the child.
However, after speaking, watching her son cry pitifully, Qinglin was softened again, and she was afraid after starting, would she criticize the child like this, would it leave him a psychological shadow?
Qing Lin’s worry immediately won the resonance of a group of mummy friends. Qing Lin found out that many mothers have similar leaks: children will inevitably make mistakes, and it is impossible to not criticize, but my criticism willDon’t overdo it?
In other words, how can we criticize in order to complete the role of education without harming children?
Critical attitude: Criticism does not mean that it is necessary to abide by criticism and discipline, and that the minds of young children should also be protected. How to balance them?
Regarding the problems of many parents, Gong Xueping, Family Home Treatment Center of Lexun Family said that parents have a strong sense of protecting their children’s self-esteem, but sometimes they have simply opposed “respect for children” and “discipline children”.When it arises, it seems that to protect the dignity of the child, it is necessary to give up the most basic discipline and criticism.
She said, in fact, if we understand the way children accept criticism at different ages, we can make appropriate criticisms based on his ability to bear.
Also, when the child is doing something wrong, it is necessary to tell him clearly that “you did not do it right”. You must not criticize or worry about teaching because you worry about harm.
The purpose of criticism: fair education If we choose the way of criticism based on respect for children, it is fair.
He will not blame and bully the child with bullies, nor will he relax his discipline and let the child make mistakes repeatedly because he is young.
Gong Xueping said that the simplest criticism is to make children responsible for their actions.
For example, for a four-year-old child, it is enough to let him know that hitting his mother with hard toys will hurt her, and he should not attack others in this way.
And such criticism does not exist without respect or harm.
Criticism of children’s harm is often because we ignore what we should tell our children.
Take Qinglin’s example. When the child hits his mother, we might say for a moment that you dare to hit your mother. You are really a bad boy!
But this will expand a specific thing to the difference between “bad” and “good” and leave a long-term impact on the child.
Method of criticism: one thing, one thing, so when we criticize a child, we only need to understand our criticism, just to let him know that doing something will bring about certain consequences, not to hurt him or give him “bad””Children” label will not cause psychological shadow to the child.
Gong Xueping suggested that our criticism must be directed at specific things, for example, children who forget to wash their hands after returning home. We should tell him that each of us should wash his hands after returning home. It is not right not to wash hands, not to extendOn other things.
And when the child ‘s wrong behavior involves interpersonal relationships, the ideal way is to “complete” a criticism in two steps-first tell him directly how he feels about the child ‘s behavior, and then calmly tell the child that you know himHe’s a good boy, but he did it wrong this time.